


Technolollies or How Draco Learned to Love the Internet

by LemonsAreFun



Category: Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger - Fandom, Dramoine - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Head Boy Draco Malfoy, Head Girl Hermione Granger, Hogwarts Era, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:08:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27198268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonsAreFun/pseuds/LemonsAreFun
Summary: How does a wizard react when he finds stories about himself on something his muggleborn co-head called the 'internet? When Draco Malfoy discovers what his co-head reads in her spare time, he finds himself quite thankful.  When he discovers a new way to forever embarrass those that annoy him, Draco learns the advantage to being a bookworm. Slight crack-fic for the 'HP universe discovers fan fiction' trope.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Kudos: 16





	Technolollies or How Draco Learned to Love the Internet

Draco Malfoy was not a wizard to be trifled with. Even if the only reason was his family name, that should be more than enough to keep everyone on his good side. But, Draco was more than just the heir to the impressive Malfoy name and fortune. He was intelligent and on track to run the family business within a year of graduating. His father was more than pleased with the proposals Draco set forth for expanding the business into a wholly untapped market.   
Over the prior two years, Draco found himself quite interested in muggle products and how they could be imported into the magical world. His interest started as a curiosity after accidentally observing some of the other students purchasing muggle study products. He quickly admitted the superiority of pens to quills especially for day to day writing. He didn’t even want to get into notebooks, folders and day planners.   
While Draco was the top ranking wizard at the school, there was a witch whose grades were slightly higher and that fact bothered him for the first couple of years of his schooling. He did get over the petty jealousy when he realized just how utterly brilliant Hermione Granger was. Draco admitted he didn’t stand a chance in topping her, so he took solace in the small gap she had on him and the insurmountable chasm the pair held to everyone else.  
Draco also appreciated her business savvy, she quickly became the main distributor for muggle study supplies. Once the market was identified, he and Granger agreed to join forces. She brought the knowledge of supplies, what was needed and how to get it, while he brought vaults filled with gold. Their shared business account started with seed money from Draco, but their profits this term far exceeded his buy in cost.   
The pair’s class standing and ability to work as a team was another reason to fear him, he earned his role as Head Boy and Captain of the house team. With all of those things in his pocket, why were there so many unflattering, untrue and generally uninspiring stories about him? One would be forgiven for thinking the Daily Prophet editors were on holiday, but in reality the Prophet rarely bothered him any longer. This was some technolollly, telchnollig, whatever it was, something Granger showed him as part of their Muggle Studies course.   
Only her instructions didn’t include what this Chrome newspaper was and the ease in finding articles to read. Earlier in the day, she showed him the Word Processing page and basic typing skills. He quickly mastered starting a new paragraph, spaces between words and indention. She left him with her Lapped Top in order to write his paper. He’d completed the majority of it before dinner, but needed to research a few things before he could complete the assignment.  
After getting the additional information from the library, he planned to finish the assignment when he returned to the dorm. His plan hit a road block when he found Hermione on the lapped top. She smiled when he entered and returned her focus to the screen. She continued to use it until the Ginger Ape started banging on the door. Apparently he followed her and the secret location of the head dorm was gone. Draco sighed realizing it lasted longer than he had thought it would. They were two weeks into the term.   
After Granger left, Draco took the lapped top and set up the workstation as Hermione taught him. He figured out how to open the lid, after a couple of failed tries, entered the password successfully and watched the screen change from the pretty landscape to something he didn’t expect.   
Hermione showed him the bar at the bottom and what little picture to click. As he prepared to find that place where the mouse would show up, his eyes glanced over whatever Granger had been reading. It a list of something, articles based on his quick glance.  
Draco, a curious wizard by nature decided instead of opening the word processing document, began to read what was in front of him. The page before was filled with lots of writing and each section seemed to be a new story with the standard Prophet worthy headlines intended to make you want to read. His fingers brushed over the mouse pad and it pleased Draco to see the little arrow appear. Intrigued with seeing his name on each of the stories, he couldn’t help but click when the little arrow changed to a finger. With that simple click a new world opened to the wizard.   
******  
Draco’s Very Bad Day  
Word Count: 654  
Chapters: 1  
Rating: K+  
Draco stalked about his family’s impressive ball room. This ballroom, the medium sized one, was the one his mother used when giving the impression the event was intimate. It made those invited feel more important. Only so many people fit into the overly large room.   
Speaking of his mother, she recently decided to reinstate the annual Malfoy Ball and Draco had been informed he was to be the host. It would have been fine had she not also invited the entirety of the Hogwarts fifth through seventh years, and the teachers, and the administration, and the Regents and the bloody awful reporters from the Prophet, Witch Weekly and any number of international newspapers. These attendees had not been mentioned until that morning over breakfast. His black current jam suddenly tasted of ash and dread.   
It would have been funny if not for the fact he hated most of those at the school. He’d treated them in the manner they deserved, below him for years and now he was in the painful position of having to get them to forgive him. He hadn’t called anyone a truly derogatory name in years, but since those he’d taunted were on the winning side he had to change how they thought of him.   
The Hogwarts contingent was in addition to the members of society typically invited to such soirees. And the plebeians, the witches and wizards who admittance was won, of all the tacky ploys, through some lottery or such rot, were likely in dire need of a shower. Apparently in the field beyond the family wards witches and wizards set up a tent village in order to observe those attending. He assumed it was like what he witnessed at the Quidditch World Cup, only without Quidditch.  
The inane event was to start in under an hour and he had yet to be informed who his cohost would be. This witch would also be his partner for the traditional waltz to open the event. As the head of the Malfoy family, due to the unfortunate circumstances regarding his father’s involvement in an attempted governmental overthrow, Draco was expected to show the magical world how forward thinking the family now was.   
Really his father’s imperialistic believes were outdated and believing the installation of a dictator would make things better was laughable. Regardless the family had been on tenter hooks for the better part of the last year. But now Draco and his mother had been cleared of any major wrong doings. Lucius and his incarceration were out of bounds for discussion.  
In addition to the family drama, it had been announced in an early afternoon addition of the Prophet, the Minister of Magic would be supporting a marriage law to ensure the future of the magical world. The Wizengamot already approved the law and the DMLE was working how to implement the thing. There was nothing anyone between the ages of seventeen and one hundred seventeen could do. It seemed having a spouse more than a hundred years older was gauche. The story was light on details but if witches and wizards could not or refused pair off on their own, the ministry would get involved.   
If that didn’t work, the witch or wizard would be kicked out of the magical world and their wand snapped. Draco hadn’t survived a bloody war to be kicked out of his world. So he was resigned to accept what was being thrown at him. Most of the girls Draco knew (who were at least close to his age) were either already betrothed, also liked girls or hated Draco. It appeared the mother of the next Malfoy scion would more than likely be older than the child’s grandmother. But that was fine, right?  
As he rehashed the events leading him to this day, Draco heard a quiet clearing of a throat. Turning, he noted his mother standing in the doorway with an unimpressed expression. “Draco, it’s time. I have taken the opportunity to select your partner. Do not do anything to show up the family.” Draco bowed with deference knowing what she was saying, or rather telling him that if he screwed up her plans, she’d flay him alive. Like he could do worse than his father.   
“Yes mother. Shall you show her in?”   
“Of course. I should warn you, I’ve spoken with the girl’s parents and they are not against a pairing between the two of you. She is aware, but does not seem pleased with her parents or the agreement. Since the paperwork has already been approved by the Ministry, there isn’t much she or you can do.” Draco stood still and watched his mother leave the room.   
What.  
The.  
F…  
The though was cut off when a head of brown curly hair flew in the room. “Just what in the hell are you up to Malfoy?”   
Draco’s day suddenly started to look up.   
******  
Draco tried to scroll only to realized there wasn’t anymore. He narrowed his eyes at the screen and wanted to research who this writer was. The name didn’t seem real in the slightest. Who would name a child AWitch_AVampire_ALover? Skeeter would never use an alias and this gross leap of reality was really her cup of tea. What bothered him was nothing written there had actually happened.   
There had not been a war, his father was a bit of an ass but he wasn’t in league to overthrow the ministry, and the idea of the Ministry forcing a marriage law was ridiculous. It’s not like Britain was the only place with magic. The wizard admitted to himself, and probably more importantly to Hermione, he was a git until their third year and asked for her forgiveness.   
His apology consisted on explaining how it took a couple of years away from being the center of attention for him to realize there was a bigger world out there. Hermione accepted the apology and admitted to being happy she assisted in his change. The twitch of his nose at that moment made her laugh. Hard. Draco didn’t find the punch funny, but it was fine. He’d gained her forgiveness and that was the first step in his master plan.   
Draco scanned the short piece again and scoffed at the idea of a marriage contract. That was graceless and Merlin forbid Narcissa Malfoy do anything that smelled the vaguest bit gaudy. He scowled a moment longer at the words and decided it was time to see what other lies he could find.  
After clicking a bit more, Draco found an arrow pointing to the left and used it returned the screen to the previous page. The next article, if you could call it that, was called ‘Love in the Afternoon’ and had his name along with Hermione’s. He wondered if there were rumors about them he missed. He scanned the summary and moved to the next story. Again his and Hermione’s name were present.   
Instead of reading each summary, he scanned the list and realized the entire page had stories about them. Looking at the date published he noted the articles were not in any sort of order, but all had ‘Complete’ at the end. At the end of the page there were a list of numbers and the word ‘next’. Clicking the next Draco found a list of entirely new articles.   
But, it wasn’t the pages of articles that now held his attention, he noticed a section called‘Filters’ at the top of the page. His little arrow hovered over the word, he clicked. The first think Draco noticed, both his name and Hermione’s were listed in characters fields and after exploring a little more he realized the articles were sorted by an update date and filtered to include only completed items and all ratings. How you had an incomplete article he didn’t understand.  
After a bit investigation, he discovered he was in some section called favorite stories. He thought on that for a moment and smirked wondering if Granger marked these as her favorites. It was an interesting thought. He was also curious about the rating and after spending a few minutes getting an understanding of them, he began to look for stories with a T or M rating. Schoolwork took a backseat to better understanding his dorm mate.  
******  
The Tumbler  
Word Count: 7,864  
Chapters: 3  
Rating: M  
Hermione sauntered into the doorway and leaned into the jamb while watching the man in the chair. His eyes lifted from whatever he was reading to peruse the figure in the doorway. His tongue darted out and ran along his lower lip in a slow and deliberate manner. Hermione’s stomach clenched at the promise of what those lips held.   
In her hand she held a tumbler filled with firewhiskey and a blindfold. Her finger slowly circled the rim of the glass while waiting for the wizard to acknowledge her. The man’s stormy grey eyes had yet to leave the witch’s body. She was clothed in sinfully high heels, black stockings with a lacy garter/knicker set and a bustier in black, silver and green. Her breasts were barely contained as she sucked in a breath registering the lust in his eyes. Without meaning to Hermione’s body shuttered in desire, she wanted him as much as he wanted her.   
Draco pushed his chair back and beckoned the siren to enter his domain. He adjusted his erection with no embarrassment and slid his hand up and down the length a few times. The pair knew his rock hard cock wouldn’t be contained in the dark grey trousers much longer. The only unknown was just where she would contain him first. Discovering their mutual enjoyment, neither much minded how they came but only that they did. Preferably multiple times.  
She walked around the desk and turned to set the items on it. As she bent to place the items, his hands traced up her legs and over her exposed bottom. It seemed the knickers were an illusion and she was bare to his touch. Her stance widened as his fingers danced across her skin. As they brushed between her wet nether lips her hips twitched in order for him to have better access. With a slight bend, Draco’s fingers began to explore what the witch so openly offered.   
The witch moaned as his second hand reached up to release her full breast from their confinement. Hermione pushed against his lower hand as the one caressing her breast pinched her puckered nipple. At her movement she felt his fingers slip into her wet heat.   
Slowly his fingers slid into her channel as her hips moved in tandem. “I didn’t know you were coming today. What changed your mind?” The witch wasn’t in a position to speak as her mind was overloaded with the sensations her lover was giving her.  
She took a deep breath in order to respond. “I’d come everyday if you’d allow it.” Draco was impressed she could answer and added another finger into her channel. “Yesssss.” The witch hissed as he began to rub her clit with his thumb.  
“Let go Hermione. We have all night and I have plans for your beautiful body.” The witch shuttered as his thumb pressed her magic button and her orgasm washed over her. Her body shook with the aftershocks and she turned to watch Draco suck his fingers clean.   
Hermione leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. Her hands swiftly moved and released the hard as steel erection. Her fingers grasped and moved up and down the length as Draco gripped her hips. She straddled him and positioned him at her dripping entrance. Slamming down she took his whole length into her tight channel. “Fuck Hermione you’re so wet. Every time. Every bloody time.” He pulled Hermione toward him and took one of her peaks into his mouth. Hermione arched back pressing her breast toward her lover as the feeling of being utterly filled with his cock overwhelmed her.  
Hermione began bouncing faster as her second orgasm approached. Draco groaned loudly he wasn’t going to last as her tight channel began to flutter around his length. Knowing she would come soon, Draco pulled her down forcefully, going so very deep before she erupted in screams of ecstasy. Draco come a moment later filling her body with his seed.  
Hermione’s head dropped to his shoulder …  
******  
“Draco I’m sorry he disturbed us. How is the assignment going?” Hermione walked back into the head’s common room to see Draco completely focused on the screen of him. Smirking to herself, she was glad he took to using the computer so easily instead of just complaining about it. He’d taken to the muggle study material so well, technology was the next logical step.   
She hoped to help the magical world begin to incorporate some of the advancements of the muggle world. There was a radio so why not movies or even television? Books and parchment could be stored electronically and allow for more to access to the wealth of knowledge out there.   
She remembered Draco remarking on some ideas he’d like to introduce and they aligned well with what Hermione wanted to do. Maybe being heads together would truly be a good thing and not just some nonsense she told herself. Walking across the room to the desk where Draco sat, who remained still, Hermione hummed in contentment to herself. There may have been a touch of smug amusement, but that died on her lips as the screen came into focus. It was the familiar blue banner she first saw. Suddenly she remembered exactly what she was reading when Ron had shown up. A litany of curse words flew through her mind as she saw Draco’s face.   
“No.” She couldn’t really stop herself when she saw him click to the next chapter. Her brain was ready to shut down and slink into a corner somewhere. Leave it to Ron to expose her fetish to the person that was most directly involved. “Draco?”   
The wizard in question was in shock, his mind not quite registering but fully envisioning the scene in front of him. He had his own visions of Hermione in his house colors but to see it in writing and for the public to read. That was wrong, these were his desires, his fantasies. It was then he heard the witch. Looking up he noticed her face. Her eyes were a bit red but the expression only screamed fear.   
“Gra…Hermione, sorry. I’m just a bit shocked.” She interrupted, she couldn’t help it and he didn’t know what to really say.  
“I’m sorry, I know it’s wrong and some of the stories are so bad. But…it’s sometimes nice to … I don’t know…maybe reading about yourself is a bad idea. But it’s fiction, and since it’s not real…”. Hermione was sitting across the desk and found both her words and brain failed her.  
“Of course it’s fiction Hermione. I mean one of them had a marriage law and mother setting us up. It’s just insane she wouldn’t do that.” Hermione immediately knew why, she wasn’t good enough and Draco just confirmed it. She hoped a little that maybe the world really changed, but no. She would never be good enough for those who’d been in power for generations. While ruminating on her response, she realized Draco hadn’t stopped babbling either.   
“They always said I would pick my wife. It would be for love. And while I don’t know if I love anyone I do know arranged marriages don’t work in our world anymore. We are behind our muggle counterparts, but we’ve, at least, figured that out. I do know there is someone I’d like to be more with, but I’m not sure if she’s interested.” Draco’s ramblings stopped and he looked to the scared witch. “What is this Hermione?”   
She blinked a few times not understanding. “What?”   
“This Hermione, what sort of newspaper reports stories like this? If I ever am lucky enough for you to wear what it described in this article I certainly would never allow a reporter to detail what my physical reaction let alone what my hands, lips and other parts would do to you. But this story sounds like exactly what I would do? So I say again, what is this?” At this point he angled the screen and pointed to the page on display. Looking at the title Hermione let out a little yelp, it was actually one of her most favorite fantasies. She may have found a set of lingerie that matched the story. Not that she bought it, yet. But she found it.  
“It’s…ah…I’m not sure how to explain it, there are quite a few layers of culture context to wade through. Maybe ask me a question and I can go from there?” Hermione hated it when her statements came out like a question, but that was really the least of her problems right now. She had to find a way to explain her reading fictional stories about them, their friends and life on a muggle site. That didn’t even cover the fact most of her favorite stories were quite explicit in the descriptions of their couplings. Least of her worries were how knowledge of their world became entertainment for muggles. This now existed and she knew it was only a matter of time until someone else found it. She sighed quietly and waited for Draco.   
Draco seemed a bit confused by her question, he didn’t understand what more he needed to ask. “Ok…What newspaper is this?” Hermione nodded a little, she could explain that.  
“It’s not a newspaper, this is a website. Do you remember when I explained the internet and said it was a way for muggles to communicate?” The wizard nodded slowly, he did remember that discussion from both class and their discussions on her life outside of Hogwarts. “So this is an internet site where muggles write stories about things. These muggles are fans of stories or specific characters and create their own stories for them. So it’s not like the Prophet or the Quibbler, the people who read these stories know they are make believe but read to see how others spin the story.”  
“How did I, did we end up on here? How did this writer know what I would do?”  
“I don’t know. I’ve thought about mentioning it to Kingsley but honestly some of the writers are really good and it’s a break for me. A guilty pleasure I guess. I’m so sorry. I know it’s not something you would enjoy. I should have closed the browser before I left. Ron…well, he was him and I didn’t want him to destroy the comfortable feeling we have here so I wanted him away as soon as possible. But I guess I destroyed it pretty well on my own.” A little sniffle and sob broke from her before she fled the room. Hearing her door shut, Draco again looked at the screen.   
Closing the top, he carried the machine and himself toward the closed door. Knocking he didn’t hear anything, he assumed she put up her insanely strong silencing charm. Knowing she wouldn’t hear his knocks, he slid down the door and opened the lid. After putting in the password again, he settled himself and finished reading the story. With the thoughts/memories of the story, he conjured the strongest Patronus charm he had ever been able to create. The dragon weaved around him and disappeared behind the door. Draco could do nothing but wait.   
Hermione saw the beautiful dragon stop before her and convey its message. She really wanted to believe what he said, but could she? There was really only one way to find out. Luckily Draco shifted so he was leaning against the wall which allowed him to remain seated instead of falling backwards into the witch’s room when she opened the door.  
It took Hermione almost forty-five minutes to leave her room after receiving Draco’s message and during the interlude Draco figured out what all the filters did and started to experiment with the different combinations. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to read more about what he’d do to and with Hermione, he really, really did and thought there might be a few new ideas he’d like to incorporate into his future fantasies making him quite aroused. Figuring it would be better if he didn’t embarrass himself, he started to read other stories. They were enough for his impressive bulge, he liked that description, to have deflated.  
When the door finally opened Draco didn’t look up, he was in the middle of reading what could have been the worst story he’d yet seen. After finishing the piece he looked up and met Hermione’s eyes. His were glittering with mischief. “So there are some hilarious stories about Scarhead in here. May I please read them in class where we discuss our favorite muggle authors? Aunt Andromeda said nothing about the authors having to be famous, these people write so in my mind they count.” His smirk completely laid her fears to rest. “I doubt this was what she intended Draco.” She slid next to him and moved a bit closer when he motioned for her to read something.  
“Maybe but this one is great, not only are Potty and Weasel totally themselves in this one, but Blaise is a GIRL!!!! It would be awesome to see how they react.” He looked to her with the biggest, most innocent expression she’d ever seen. After reading the story and holding back her own laugh, she wasn’t sure she really wanted to say no. “You know Hermione, I think we should find a story and read it together every night. Sort of a way to release the stress.” He wagged his eyebrows in a way that would mean something entirely different in one of the stories.   
“Sounds good Draco.” Draco slipped his arm around Hermione and wondered what story to read that night. Maybe it was time to move forward and see if she’d be open to his advances.  
******  
Two weeks later it was Draco’s turn to discuss his thoughts on muggle literature. Hermione tried on multiple occasions to change the story but in the end it was no use. Over the few days Hermione realized Draco reading that particular story wouldn’t bother like it once may have.  
Two days earlier Ron blew up at her at lunch and then dinner had his lips firmly attached to Lavender Brown. Harry ended up at their door the evening before and stayed the night on their couch. Neither invited him in but after forcing himself on them and passing out due to “emotional distress” (his words) Hermione found little reason to be sympathetic about what would happen. Blaise was probably an innocent bystander but what could she do.   
She rolled her eyes before looking at her neighbor. She found a now familiar pair of grey eyes watching her so-called friends with barely veiled distain. When they caught hers the expression turned to pleading and she shrugged. It wasn’t the answer he wanted, but it wasn’t an all out no.   
Just after getting his sort of go ahead, Andromeda Tonks called the class to order before turning to Draco.  
“Mr. Malfoy, are you ready for your presentation?” With a smirk the witch recognized from her sister, Andi sat back to enjoy whatever mayhem her nephew prepared to unleash. Draco stood and turned to Hermione with his hands held out. Sighing she handed him her computer.  
“Thank you Professor Tonks. As we have learned the muggles have many technolollies and this lapped top is just one of them. Using this tool, one can find a never ending stream of entertainment. I found the following author’s story when Hermione allowed me to use her lapped top for one of our earlier assignment. With that, I present a wholly original muggle work entitled ‘Blaise’s Preference’.”   
The class seemed a bit confused as Draco set the computer on the dais and opened the lid. The little apple lit up as the wizard typed in the password and pulled up the browser. His minx pulled up a different story but after so many weeks, he learned how to find what he needed without her help. With a quick wink to the witch, Draco cleared his throat and began the worst story ever written.  
******  
Blaise’s Preference (A Drabble)  
Word Count: 793  
Chapters: 1  
Rating: T  
It had been a long day of classes and Blaise just wanted to take a hot naked bath. Slipping into the Prefect’s Bathroom, Blaise laughed at the ease of getting in. She wasn’t the prefect for their year, but it was easy enough to get the password from Pansy. She had no qualms about sharing things she probably shouldn’t. She was sort of like Hagrid that way. Oafish and unable to keep her mouth shut described the girl well.   
Blaise wouldn’t call Pansy a friend, but she would be useful in years to come. Depending on who she married, she could be a good connection, no reason to burn that bridge just yet. Blaise quickly stepped out of her uniform rubbing her hands over her well toned body before pulling her long dark hair into a messy bun. The boys found her ability to contain her hair in this manner very arousing. She watched as her naturally tanned skin slipped into the overly warm bathwater and added both lavender and vanilla oils. Sighing, she allowed her mind to wonder into nothingness as the water relaxed her stress and strain away.  
Harry “Scarhead” Potter and Ronald “the Weasel” Weasley were running. Before the quidditch match began there was a rumor the Weasel somehow found a spell that would make the snitch be attracted to Harry. Not that Harry minded, it made beating those evil, loathsome Slytherins that much easier. The school was always so much happier when Gryffindor won the house cup. What neither expected was for a Hufflepuff to turn traitor.   
It seemed Neville Longbottom heard something of the boys discussion and knew what they were doing was really wrong. Instead of telling a trusted adult, as there were none at the school, Neville passed the information to Hannah Abbott (his secret girlfriend) and Luna Lovegood (his other secret girlfriend) asking them to help him.   
Both witches ironically found cheating to be morally wrong and took matters into their own hands. Luna’s spell activated as soon as Harry caught the snitch and resulted in the wizard having the word ‘cheater’ blinking over his head. While Luna’s spell was a nice bit of advanced charm work, Hannah went the old school route and told everyone in the Hufflepuff stand what happened. By the time ‘Cheater’ appeared the entire stadium was aware and turned against the duo.   
Hermione Granger sat in the stands and was pissed, her NEWTS were only 3 months away and she could be revising. She only attended the blasted match because the two cheaters were, no are, her best friends. Maybe the past tense was right. They certainly had no regard for her and only acknowledged her when they needed help with their homework. Honestly, she wasn’t a professor and wasn’t getting paid to drag the dense duo through their schoolwork. She noticed neither boy seemed aware the tide was turning against them, shrugging she sat back and decided to enjoy the show.   
After landing the pair suddenly found themselves being chased by an angry horde so they ran. Neither boy was extremely fit, flying on a broom wasn’t really cardio and despite Hermione’s best efforts neither boy took to working out. It didn’t take long for the pair to be out of breath and in need of a place to hide until the heat died out. Harry thought of the prefect’s bathroom first and with a quick dart the pair found themselves in the correct hallway. It wasn’t until they were in the room they noticed how sticky the air was. And then they heard a snore, looking around they saw the most beautiful girl either boy had seen.   
Neither recognized Blaise Zabini as normally the sight of the green and silver tie made them turn away. But the naked witch had no house allegiance, she was just a witch. A naked witch whose breasts were visible. The breasts lifted out of the water with each breath and both of the boys were frozen. Just the sight of a pair of real breasts had the boys reacting physically and soon their cocks were standing at full mast.  
Opening her eyes, Blaise saw the two Gryffindor boys gazing at her. Smirking to herself, she stood and pretended to not have noticed them. Harry almost choked when the rivets of water tracked down her body. He watched as they run over her breasts and dripped from her peaked nipple. What he would do for the chance to lick the water off.   
Slowly Blaise dried her skin and made sure the boys continued to watch as she stretched and ran her green and silver painted nail over each bottle lotion available for everyone to use. She loved scented lotion and today she desired something a bit more pure and innocent. The bottle she would use was a bit to the right and on the lower shelf. She twisted her body and bent before wrapping her fingers around the bottle.  
That was the day Blaise discovered the sensual art of lotion application.  
******  
With a jaunty little bow, the wizard closed the computer, returned to Hermione and sat in the empty seat next to her. The silence in the room pleased Draco, he hoped for a relatively high shock factor but this was beyond his expectations. Sighing, Hermione rubbed her head. She knew what was about to happen.   
Andromeda was biting her tongue to stop the laughter from erupting. It seemed she wasn’t the only one who found that website based on Hermione’s resigned response. There was possibly three other avid readers of the site in the room from their laughter before Draco started reading. The question tumbling in Andromeda’s mind was if should she inform the rest of the class or just let it be. Deciding she didn’t want to hear everyone trying to one up the other with finding horrid stories, she let it drop.  
“Well, that was interesting Mr. Malfoy. Next class will Miss Granger’s turn and while I didn’t have any requirements on what constitutes an author, I do expect something a little more from you.” With a nod the younger witch slid the computer in her bag and truly regretted figuring out how to make her electronics work at Hogwarts.   
“When we graduate, I’m hiring you to work at Malfoy Industries. Your ability to make muggle technolollies work and our distribution will bring our worlds closer than they have been in centuries.”   
“Sure Draco…it does sound good.” And it did, but maybe she would find a way to block muggle fan fiction. No one else needed to read about Hermione’s proclivity towards lacy undergarments and Draco Malfoy. Standing quickly she pulled Draco out of the room as the rest of the class started to come back to themselves.  
Blaise yelling “What do you mean I’m a girl?” was the last thing Hermione heard before turning the corner and heading toward their dorm.  
Harry and Ron were sputtering with righteous indignation and upset they’d not found the spell the story mentioned. Neville, also surprised to have heard his name in the story, found himself more shocked in its description of his love life. He and Hannah were pretty serious but until she introduced him to her family, it was a bit of an open relationship in his mind. Luna on the other hand, well she was just open. And unsurprisingly quite freaky, she was up for anything and everything. He smirked a little and set about to make sure no one believed the story.  
******  
Albus Dumbledore stood looking out his window. He watched the greenhouses and pondering many things. Right now his most pressing concern related to Severus and how a relationship with Rosemerta would go over. She was the right age and he was perpetually single. Might as well give the boy some jollies in the fantasy world.  
Albus turned to the lap top he’d gotten to work years earlier and began to write the best story yet.   
******  
While the rest of the students of Hogwarts were focused on the rumors emanating from the muggle studies classroom, Hermione was standing in her bedroom. That morning she’d gotten a package with something she ordered a week earlier. It really did match what she envisioned. After making sure the seams in the stockings were straight, the witch gave herself another look before picking up the glass of firewhiskey and the black silk tie. This would be the first time she acted out a fantasy, the first time she so blatantly initiated sex with Draco, but far from their first time together. Closing her door, her heels clicked on the stone floor until she was standing the doorway of the Head Boy’s room. He was working on his homework and hadn’t looked up yet.   
When Draco did look up a slow smirk spread across his face. As he beckoned the witch into his domain he adjusted himself knowing the witch would relieve the hardness soon enough. As his hands ran over the smooth skin on display for him, he groaned on finding his witch bare.   
Draco knew this would be a good day.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. If the story wasn't clear, Hermione was reading FFN. At the time it was the only site I knew about and since then, I've stuck with reading it. I'm still trying to understand how to search and find stories on AO3.  
> As noted in the tags, this was originally posted on FFN. I have updated the story a bit (added a bit more smut) from what is still posted on FFN. I'll probably leave the story on FFN as is.  
> I plan to eventually move my stories here but will continue to post on FFN. Please excuse any hiccups as I learn the AO3 way of doing things.


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